TALKING DIRTY WHILE BEING INTIMATE
Happy Friday! Well let’s get straight to it no chaser. If you didn’t read the disclaimer in one of my previous post, I will let you know again. This blog is for the mature, I will talk about everything from fashion, style, products and lifestyle. Apart of life is sex!
The time I had the most awkward encounter or moment while being intimate.
I dated a gentleman for a while, by that I mean over a year. I told him when we first started dating that I was celibate due to getting my heart-broken in the past and not wanting to rush things with being physical. Adding sex into the equation can confuse things and lead to conflict. Everything was going good, not great because our schedules didn’t always a line, so seeing each other was hard at times, but we made it work.
Now let me lay down the foundation. He was very attractive, tall, fit, respectful, and a great personality to match. So attractive that other women and men would stare at us walking down the street and thought that he played professional football. Just yummy!
Normally in relationships there comes a point when you want to take it to the next level. I brought it up in a conversation and he completely shut me down. He said that he respected me and my wishes and didn’t want to mess things up by having sex. Here I go…”thats ok, we won’t mess anything up but the sheets!” But he refused. I’m not a violent person and I wasn’t going to take it by force, I thought that I’d just bring it up at a later date.
Being cheated on in the past I’m thinking “what man doesn’t want to have sex, or is he having sex with someone else?
Needless to say instead of talking about it, I would just take it upon myself to paint a picture for him by making candlelit dinner, with wine and setting a romantic mood. Well that didn’t work, he just wanted to watch a movie and chill. Strike two!
At this point several months have passed by and my hormones were raging. A girlfriend and I went to a sex shop to pick up a few adult toys to help us through the hard times then I get a phone call from him. He asked what I was doing and I kept it real! “I’m not being satisfied by you so I have to get it one way or another”! Clearly I hit a nerve and he said that he was on his way over to my apartment.
THIS IS WHEN THINGS GET AWKWARD!
When home he said, show me what you picked up, so I did. Then he told me to get into the bedroom! Well damn, if that’s what it took to get some, I would have told him to take a look in my top dresser drawer.
We get to kissing and rubbing and then out of nowhere he says “your my dirty little bitch aren’t you!” At first I thought that I heard him wrong, so I didn’t say anything and basked in the moment. Then he says it louder waiting a response. “Am I in the damn Twilight Zone, who says that! So what do you think I said…”mmmhmmm”. I waited too long to get thrown off kilter with the most disrespectful dirty talk.
Needless to say the sex was good but the delivery was horrible. I brought it up later that I didn’t like him talking to me like that and we had a “healthier” sexual relationship thereafter.
So this is a tip for women and men, there is nothing wrong with talking dirty in bed, in fact I promote it, as long as it doesn’t make your partner fill like they are auditioning for the lead role in a top-selling porn video. If you like being called bitches and hoe’s by all means go for it, I’m not the one. Tell each other what you like and don’t like so its enjoyable for the both of you.
I know that I’m not the only one whose experienced this. No judgements share your thoughts and if you’re not shy, experience.
This post is dedicated to my dear friend Yvette. RIP and I miss you.
xoxo,
Annese
Awwww!!!!! Yesssss!!!! Thanks for keeping it real!!!!! Good read!!!
Thank you! Sometimes what people say can just kill the mood!
oh i would die if someone said that to me. I don’t think I could not laugh! I love that you just went with it though!!
I my mind I was like “oh hell no”. Did he just say that. So that means whoever he was with before allowed him to speak to her that way. I had to remind him I’m completely different. It was completely out of character for him, so he got a pass.
Really straight forward and honest! I loved it! I can’t do the dirty talk – it just feels weird for me but more power to anyone who can! xo
http://www.everydaycountess.com
SAAAAAME nothing makes me dry up like a raisin like being called names like that. Just not my jam, man.
Haha! Right, I was frozen for a second. I wanted to say “pardon me”? How sexy is that..him saying “hoe” and me saying “huh” in a intimate setting. I think some men live in a fantasy world sometimes, how about we access the situation first before throwing out names.