An Uncanny Parallel Part 1: A Black Woman’s Opinion to Navigate a 2023 Layoff

We have an amazing pet named Mila. She’s a miniature poodle that we purchased during the pandemic. Our pup is an instant hit when we take her in public…cute, well-behaved, and loveable. And, boy oh boy, is she tethered to me. I often say she is my “Avatar” animal, similar to the human to animal connection demonstrated in the box office hit. 

Mila has taught me so much. She waits for my command to make a move, validation (“good dog”) accompanied by a treat after completing the desired tasks and an undying loyalty, no matter how often I tell her “no” you have to stay home, as I leave the house to complete each day’s tasks. Our brown, curly cutie is absolutely absorbed in pleasing us. And surprisingly, regardless if her needs were met on the previous day, the following day, she is consistently excited to see the family. Funny, her enduring devotion only requires food and some recognition, only slightly surpassing basic needs.

Recently, I was laid off from my leadership position, acquired only less than ten months ago, after almost a decade of employment at the same company. Pages can be written to define my journey in this space, but I’ll remain focused on “what is.” Reflecting on this recent news, I’ve been the gamut of emotions angry, depressed, accepting, etc. How could this happen to me? This question is a result of my loyalty. What is wrong with me? Asked because defining myself through the eyes of others is an endless rat race in itself. What am I supposed to do? And this, ladies and gentlemen, is when I realized Mila and I have so much in common.

I’m a 42 year old Black wife and mother with three college degrees, decently traveled, an unmatched work ethic, and I’ve literally been ASKING about my next steps. Figuratively panting until someone TELLS me what to do? Instead of readily KNOWING MY PURPOSE, I’ve been unconsciously whimpering for validation (“good girl”) and a treat. My twenties alone were my ancestors’ dreams and just because someone decided that I wasn’t the right match or fit for a job, I now question my value and worth? How did I get to this space?  I’ve spent too much of my life looking for recognition, wondering if “they” saw the light I carry? But honestly, do I know this truth?

Reflectively, I’m now realizing the mistake that has been made time and time again. There’s a wrong I  have to make right within myself and for my children, who will navigate a world that constantly shines a light on deficiencies knowing that they are GREAT. Their existence is ENOUGH and every answer they need is within, if they learn to listen to that voice. My next steps are unknown but what is true is that that version of me can no longer lead the expedition in this journey called life. I will: know who I am and what I want to do, embrace what I love, take breaks and rest when I need to, and ultimately dream again…I’ve always loved to write and this alone has given me a wind I haven’t felt in years. 

YOU MAY ALSO ENJOY PART TWO OF THIS SERIES